Civics Lesson

In the fall of 1956, we were brand-new seniors. And, throughout the land, a presidential election was coming to a head. At Hillsboro, we had a mock election. It meant nothing to the national body politic, but it kept our minds off studying, for a while.

It was Eisenhower against Stevenson. People started making signs and taking sides. The first inkling I had that it was going to be anything more than that came when I ran into Jeter, coming out of Study Hall. He pressed a little card into my hand. The card said:

Vote Early and Vote Often!

for

T. Coleman Andrews

Jeter grinned and said, "We'd appreciate your support." That afternoon, four other guys gave me the same card. The last one gave me a stack and asked me to hand them out.

Before long, word spread through the school that certain scurrilous miscreants were trying to turn the election into a three-way race. Indignation was raised in the halls and there were calls to have those responsible ousted from the county. Other high-minded individuals countered that the injection of a third party was a positive example of democracy at the grass roots level.

Reason prevailed and write-in votes were allowed for the additional candidate. The campaigns then proceeded with vigor until the mock-election was held, the week before the real election.

It took a couple of days for the votes to be tallied. Then, with some fanfare, a special assembly was convened to announce the results. As expected, Eisenhower won handily and Stevenson came in second. T. Coleman Andrews came in third with a total of 0.00 votes.

After the assembly, a meeting of Andrews' supporters was hastily called in the second floor boy's room. I was permitted to attend because I had handed out the most cards. The main discussion centered around the mathematical impossibility that no votes had been cast for their candidate. Jeter said, "I personally voted for him 17 times." The others agreed. When the number of times that everybody had voted was tallied, it was clear that several hundred votes had been spirited away. Stolen, as it were.

Outrage ran rampant in the john. Throats became hoarse with a general call to accuse the election commission of fraud and demand a recount. Just as things were getting ugly, Jeter came forward and said, "Wait a minute - we can't do this."

"Why not?" everybody wanted to know.

Jeter paused for effect, then said, in tones of civic virtue, "It would tear the school apart."

He was immediately pummeled by the whole group.

The rest is history, or something like it.