Amo, Amas, Amat

From my first day in her Latin I class, I was in love with Mrs. Rawls. Besotted is probably a better word. My guess is, every boy in that class felt the same way, but it wasn't something we could talk about.

Because she was a teacher. She was, in fact, the cutest teacher in the school. Maybe, in the history of the school. But that still didn't give us license to harbor sappy feelings. There were only a couple of girls in the whole school that a guy could legitimately be in love with and still be cool...

"You in love with her?"

"Yeah."

"Me, too."

But you couldn't say that about Mrs. Rawls. So we kept it to ourselves, thinking we were the only ones with sense enough to appreciate her rarer qualities.

The strangest thing that ever happened to me with Mrs. Rawls was the summer afternoon she appeared at the door of my house, where I lived with my parents and my brothers. No teacher had ever come to my house, before. And she had on short shorts and a halter top. No teacher had ever had so little on, in my presence, before. I was struck dumb.

There was a perfectly good reason why she came to my house, but I can't remember what it was. I think I invited her in, but I'm not sure. She had some message for my parents. I promised to tell them. And then she was off.

My brother came by the door as she was leaving. He said, "Who was that?"

I said, "Just some girl."

Funny

On page 14 of the 1957 Hillsburro...

Mrs. Thackston is shown watering an array of plants, with the caption, "Blackboard Jungle?"

That's not funny.

Mrs. Price is shown with her eyes closed and holding two phones to her ears, with the caption, "Mrs. Price, Mr. Koen wants you."

That's not funny.

Mrs. Frierson is shown, holding up an empty coke bottle, with the caption, "The pause that refreshes."

That's not funny.

While several students of learning look on, Miss Allen places the tip of her pencil at the top of a conical solid, with the caption, "Let's see if it has grown any."

That's funny!

Thackstonia

In the winter of our discontent, we took up Richard III... And there were old stone walls, covered with snow, while the gentle wind wafted over the new mown hay. Stuff like that.

Midway through the hour, the discussion devolved into a teacher's monologue, which seemed a little off-topic, unless you considered the literary context. Which we didn't.

Walking out, I said to the guy next to me, "What was that all about?"

The guy said, "What?"

I said, "The part where she said there were things in life that we had no knowledge of."

The guy said, "I think she was saying, only teachers can have sex."

"You might be right," I said.

Just then, Felix Perry passed by. I grabbed him and said, "What do you think?"

Felix said, "My kingdom for a B."